July 17

July 17,2009

Well, Derek hasn’t been around much lately. Derek was our plumber. He put in all of the copper pipes inside the walls.

He didn’t like working in the walls too much, I guess. Some of them were kind of moldy. I try to stay away from the walls as much as possible. I don’t like the angles.

Derek had a crush on my sister, just like the floor installer. My sister was a bit of a flirt. Long blonde hair all over.

She liked to leave her thong underwear out on the bed, and rarely wore anything more that a sheer white t-shirt. I think they call them “wife-beaters”. I don’t know why.

Sometimes I felt funny when she was around, like I had a cold. I would get all hot in the collar, and my knees wobbled. I took two aspirin and a nap. I am actually happy that she is at school, though I do miss our snuggle sessions at night. Mostly during the winter, when the vent tubes were whistling so much and I was freezing. The summer snuggles were awfully sweaty, and I always woke up damp.

Derek laid a lot of plumbing in our house, I guess. He must have been a vegetarian, because he always brought over mushrooms. Him and my sister seemed to really enjoy them. I don’t really like eating fungus. There is something that is just too sponge-ey about them. “Maybe I should try peyote,” he’d said. I like coyotes. I sure wish he would catch the roadrunner. That little bastard is annoying.

Anyway, back to our plumbing.

We have our own well, of course. The drillers had to go down more than 1,200 feet to hit any sort of water, and boy, was my Uncle Red spitting bullets ! Each foot cost about a dollar, and he swore that there was water just under 350 feet, ‘cause he had used his dowsing rod the week before, and pegged it.

I kind of wonder if there isn’t a huge underground lake, and the drillers just went right through it?

Uncle Red’s dowsing is usually pretty spot on. He found the little girl who was missing-s body last year without a hitch. Yep, he jumped out of the Dodge pickup, and found that corpse in minutes flat, all just by using that forked ash branch.

Well, he sure was mad at the drillers. He wrote them a cheque. I didn’t even know we had a bank account.